Angry?...Do Yoga

Recently, I've been extremely angry, jealous, angry, sad, irritated,angry and angry some more. This isn't random, its a result of many, many different things, but primarily the tension between myself and a family member. The tension between is so thick you would need to cut it with a razor sharp steak knife. This is to be expected when its been brewing for almost 8 months. On one particular day, this particular family member did something that was extremely unexpected. Despite our differences, I never expected them to sink so low, but they proved me wrong and they did.

I was INFURIATED! It still upsets me a little today, but more of a pain/hurt type of feeling verses pure anger.  To make matters worse, I was actually in a very good mood and that all completely changed in less than 2 minutes. I wanted to shout, yell and even cause physical violence to this particular family member. I wanted to rain down on them all the pain, hurt, sadness, anger and irritation that they have caused me, are still causing me and more. It was taking everything in me not to react in a hostile matter. 

I sat on my bed for minutes trying to relax and calm myself down. Nothing seemed to be working. Nothing seemed to be "helpful." Heck, none of the solutions that were popping into my head felt like they were coming from me. It felt like some other mad, mischievous little devil was communicating with me through my thoughts. Until all of a sudden, some soothing voice whispered "get on your mat." And without thinking, I did. I just got on and started warming up to go into Surya Namaskar A. It was so quick and fluid that I didn't think, question or challenge the voice. I just did what it said and got on my mat. 

After 5 rounds of Surya Namaskar A and 5 rounds of Surya Namaskar B, I was much more calm. I wasn't completely relaxed and over the situation, but smoke was no longer coming out of my ears. My eyes were now a dull pink, instead of a fiery red. Yoga calmed me and not just my biological reactions to my intense negative experience, but it calmed me inwardly. It slowed down my mental processes and inherently slowed down my breath. It slowed and me down to a point of non-reactive thoughts. I no longer wanted to react. I was no longer fuming. I was now embracing and accepting what had just occurred and was making the transition from feeling angry to feeling hurt and embracing it all. So I say all of this, simply to suggest that whenever you find yourself getting angrier than a wet hen, hurry up and get on your mat. It really does work...