Consistency and Me, More like Frienemies



For the last few months,  or more like a year, I've struggled and still am struggling to have a consistent asana and sadhana practice, a consistent anything including posting to this blog :-( I start off well intentioned and may manage a week or two before I fall off. Once I even pulled off a full 3 weeks of consistent asana practice (like 6 days a week practice) and it felt so good. And then the dreaded began to happen....LIFE...

I know right? It sucks. I planned and scheduled and made adjustments continually but for some reason it has yet to pan out to the 6 days a week practice that I so desire and dream about at night. I even attempted to be content with a 4 days a week practice but to no avail.

Then at Yoga Book Club, our guide on the journey known as Gita Study (duh duh duh), mentioned a particular verse represents all the reasons or better yet excuses we make for not doing our practice or anything of good benefit to us. We begin to engage in this ongoing procrastinating cycle of rationalization for why we are not practicing or why we can't practice because the timing or setting is just not right. You know those reasons that seem so legit at the time and then after the fact you realize they were full of hot air. Such as (especially if you're trying to follow the tradition of Ashtanga) "It's already evening, I should just get in the bed early. So I can wake up early and do the practice right" 

Hours later at 10pm while munching on M&M's and Butter Lover's Popcorn...."Well there goes practice in the morning" Or but I have so much work I need to complete for the job or "There's not enough time" or "Man I've already eaten" or "Man I'm hungry." Maybe those "reasons" are just relevant to me, but it seems like these days I'll find anything to rationalize not practicing my asanas or implementing any of the 8 limbs of yoga into my life, mainly that of the yamas and niyamas. Work is so demanding right now with statewide testing that I feel guilty for taking time out for myself. That the reasons I have been making and continue to make really do seem reasonable and valid at the time. I make them like all the time. It's like I know when those moments are inevitably going to pop up and I already have a handy dandy toolbox of excuses on standby; already prepped and tested for which ones will be successful at keeping me on the couch.

It was during this same Yoga Book Club meeting that our guide revealed that these "reasons" are yet another weapon of attack from the ego to keep one from walking the path of self discovery and realization. Ego becomes scared and seeks to use any means necessary and available to it to keep the seeker in its grasp. This can be viewed as both good and frustrating. Good??? Why yes. The fact that ego is seeking to use every available weapon including what is necessary for you to live is confirmation that you are doing something right. That you are on the right path spiritually. So while I'm happy to know that my spiritual pursuits and practices are putting me on the right track for growth it is hard to overcome. I'm beginning to run out of options these days for developing, starting and maintaining a daily sadhana/asana/meditation practice that I feel like the only way for me to do so is to consistently be in a spiritual environment.

I feel like I've come up with every plan in the book from managing every minute to just flowing and not "planning" anything and nothing has panned out.While I know that it is important to rest and surrender to the moment, I understand and have realized how even more important it is to be disciplined no matter what and take care of yourself mentally, spiritually and emotionally. This really hit home during the Yoga Book Club meeting and when I saw this Buddha Doodle by Molly Hahn.




If I don't become consistent in my efforts soon which in turn means taking care of myself, I will always be in the grips of ego and karma. Good ole ego also known as Bhisma (the most important warrior fighting on the side of the Kurus or Kauravas) in the Gita will always blind me to who I am and what I'm purposed to do...to realize mySelf, realize God and help/inspire others to do the same. If I can't take care of mySelf and remain consistent in the practices that I know and have experienced help me grow, how can I expect to one day be in the place to help others realize their innate, spiritual nature? Any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

For my aspiring yogins and spiritual seekers, how have you sustained a consistent practice?



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Copyright © 2013-2015 Love.Yoga.Dream. All Rights Reserved.Opinions are my own and do not reflect any one specific set of yoga teachings. I don't offer professional advice. Results are not guaranteed.