Week 2 - Consistency

The second week of my ashtanga practice did not go as planned. It was rough. Instead of doing the 6 days that is expected, I've only done 3. I feel...not guilty...nor ashamed...disappointed? 





Perhaps...I don't even know if that accurately describes it. I just know that this week, it was hard. I had mornings where I just wanted to sleep a little more instead of waking up and going straight to the mat. Then on the flip side, when I didn't do early in the morning, it didn't feel right attempting to do it in the evening. It felt off. I've done an ashtanga practice in the evening and for me, I see why its best to do it first thing in the morning. I'm empty...I don't have the effects of food, of being up and tired, the stress of the day impacting my practice. It's just me as pure as I can be in the morning and the quiet in the morning is priceless (especially when you have roommates and all of us have dogs). There's just nothing that can replace the quiet, peaceful, stillness of the early morning. 

On the mornings, when I decided not to...actually on those mornings I always said I would do them later on in the day. I never really intended not to do them. But anywho on those mornings, I missed my practice. Like truly missed it. I missed getting into downward dog for my 5 breaths and going deeper into it. I missed my feeble attempts of jumping back or more like plopping back into chaturanga in Surya Namaskar A. I truly missed my practice :-(

So why didn't I do my practice, you may be wondering if I love morning yoga practice so much? Other than the reason mentioned above, I've felt guilty for doing my practice instead of doing other things. I'm in the last month or so of school and the complete draft of my thesis is due on May 10. Not so soon? Yeah but I have chapters due every 2 weeks and my next one is due on Friday and I'm behind schedule. And to make things worse, I write my best IN THE MORNING! Why do mornings have to be so awesome? 

Along with waking up and just wanting to sleep more, at times when I hadn't worked on my thesis, I would wake up thinking about how much I needed to write. And I would feel guilty for doing what I wanted to do, my asana practice, instead of writing like I need to be doing. There's just so much that needs to be done in my life and I'm not sticking to any routine or schedule...I'm being inconsistent and its showing in my shaky asana practice. Sometimes I just wish there was a pause button for life, so I could have the time to do it all, get ahead so when I push play everything would be all good. 

A part of me isn't necessarily getting down on myself because I'm only really 2 weeks in (actually 3 if you include my trial week ;-). Considering that I've stuck to it for the most part in a short amount of time, that's good...right? But then at the same time, as I'm writing this I'm remembering a lesson from the Yoga Sutras. I think I wrote about this where one should commit to a dedicated practice in order to progress. If you're always off and on and never consistent you will never feel the effects that yoga can have physically, mentally and spiritually. Consistency is key to spiritual development. 

Hopefully next week, I can be just a tad more consistent with the practice that I am growing to love and miss...