I've always pictured "true" strength being present only when something very tragic has happened. For example, when there is a death in the family or when someone is faced with homelessness or the loss of a child, miscarriages, cancer, car accidents. Feats of that nature as the only time when human strength is displayed. It hasn't been until I've had to tap into my own strength that I've realized strength is required on a daily basis. True strength lies partly in those tragic moments, but mainly in the day-to-day activities of life. Waking up every morning, go to work, to cook, feed your loved ones, shower, wash, sleep you name it. It takes strength to simply care about life, about your life. To care about your life and even more to care about the lives of others. It takes strength to live because life is not easy.
I realized this after months of not getting on the mat. It came as I was finishing my fifth Surya Namaskar A and I knew the beast (at least for me) which is Surya Namaskar B was coming. I was afraid. I was scared of how I would perform. Scared of not being properly aligned, of taking an extra breath when I shouldn't, of my arms giving out and not holding me up after the first 2 rounds. I was scared, because it's hard. It's the main reason why I haven't come to my mat because I'm afraid of how hard it will be for me. I'm scared of failing. I'm scared to progress in my practice because it's hard.
These feelings that I felt on my mat are an exact copy of my feelings about my current life situation. Life is hard and its harder to care about it enough to truly live it to the fullest. It's hard to try everyday to make it better when you're worried about food, bills, loans, debt, work performance and so much more. It's hard to make it the best life possible.
My practice is a perpetual mirror of my life, even when I'm not on the mat. This period of me not being on the mat is akin to me not being present in my life. Not living my life to its utmost capability. Life is my practice. Practice is my life. When I practice, I'm living my life. Learning about my life. About me. When I don't practice, I'm not truly living. I'm not making my life the best that it can be.
My Life is not easy. So my Practice is not easy. My Practice=My Life. My Life=My Practice. If I am genuine about truly living my life and filling it with love, peace and acceptance, I have to accept the pain and hardships that come along with it. My short 35 minute yoga session helped me to realize all of that. I can only imagine what else My Practice aka My Life has in store for me.
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment